Olivier Lacan { thoughts }

T-Che

Viva La EvolucionTo the estate of Ernesto “Che” Guevara,

I rep­re­sent the Asso­ci­a­tion of Dic­ta­tors, War­lords and Other Mass Mur­der­ers of Amer­ica (hereto­fore ref­ferred to as “ADWOMMA”) and would like to license the like­ness for Ernesto “Che” Gue­vara (hereby referred to as “Mur­derer”) for exclu­sive use on a series of highly orig­i­nal fash­ion items such as t-shirts, base­ball hats, head­bands and hoodies.

While we do not expect these items to remain on the mar­ket for longer than a sea­son con­sid­er­ing the inher­ent con­tra­dic­tion between Murderer’s philo­soph­i­cal con­vic­tions and those of our prospec­tive clients we reserve the right to extend our usage and repro­duc­tion rights in per­pe­tu­ity based on the mar­ket reac­tion to our product.

Murderer’s like­ness will be plas­tered on as many of ADWOMMA’s prod­ucts as pos­si­ble. We wish to use the “rebel­lious” and “anti-establishment” notions asso­ci­ated with Murderer’s face and name (which, in fact, may be used on the prod­ucts) while hop­ing our cus­tomers will remain bliss­fully igno­rant of all the pain and suf­fer­ing Mur­derer has caused (to his credit) on gen­er­a­tions of compatriots.

Although Mur­derer may have objected to our pro­ceed­ings dur­ing his life­time since we recall he didn’t acknowl­edge the exis­tence of “pri­vate prop­erty”, the usage we will make of his like­ness will be of a com­mer­cial nature. We intend to pro­duce items includ­ing but not lim­ited to the ones described and pro­ceed to resell licenses to these prod­ucts to other man­u­fac­tur­ers around the world in the (unlikely) event that they become profitable.

As com­pen­sa­tion, we offer to pre­tend the val­ues of Mur­derer still have any rel­e­vance in our mod­ern (i.e. non-barbaric) soci­ety. We con­sid­ered offer­ing monies but ulti­mately decided against it with the under­stand­ing that such a propo­si­tion would be an insult to Murderer’s mem­ory and legacy.

Very sin­cerely,
Olivier Lacan
sales@adwomma.org

PS: writ­ten for an intel­lec­tual prop­erty and law class I was tak­ing yesterday.

The Fall of Comcast

The Fall of ComcastFirst off, let me assert the fact that I’m not a bit­ter per­son. I’ve had my share of DSL issues in Paris (France) with an ISP (NOOS, now Numer­i­ca­ble) which makes Com­cast look like a gen­tle baby seal in com­par­i­son. A con­nec­tion prob­lem on NOOS meant 0.5kb/s down­load speed for a month with no other solu­tion than wait­ing for them to repair the net­work node. And of course, no com­pen­sa­tion offered for the absence of ser­vice dur­ing a month.

That, was ISP hell.

Com­cast, most of the time is only a mediocre ISP. Their web­site is less unbe­liev­ably messy (infor­ma­tion archi­tec­ture being the key issue) than BrightHouse’s but still remains a cry­ing shame for a com­pany that is one of the key play­ers on the inter­net. As one of my friends recently put it when I had a con­ver­sa­tion with him about ISP hav­ing con­fus­ing web­sites: “You wouldn’t be on the Inter­net if it weren’t from them, and they can’t even get it right.”

Pre­cisely. If you excuse the web designer lingo, Comcast’s home page sports a hybrid design with nested table ele­ments and nasty spell of DIVi­tis. It doesn’t even come close to val­i­date against the W3C stan­dards (254 Errors, 8 warn­ings). Let’s not even talk about acces­si­bil­ity, why would the hand­i­capped need the internet?

But let’s leave that alone, and just imag­ine that your modem has a con­nec­tiv­ity issue. In my case, slow speeds (100kb/s tops) and recur­ring dis­con­nec­tions for no appar­ent rea­son. No major down­load, no ongo­ing bit tor­rent activ­ity. Now push that sce­nario a lit­tle fur­ther: boom, no more con­nec­tion. Modem dead. How do you reach sup­port? Well you call them. Assum­ing you had the num­ber jot­ted down some­where. Which I guess is what you do when you’ve been a Com­cast user a long time — I haven’t.

So using what­ever way you can — shout­ing in the street, going geek-hunting or… steal­ing your neighbor’s wifi — you fig­ure out the num­ber is 1–800-COMCAST or 1–800-266‑2278. You pro­ceed to call.

- Hello this is Michael Jor­dan.
– And this is Ben Stein, wel­come to Comcast!

What. the. fuck?!
Yes I under­stand the need to asso­ciate your com­pany with lik­able pub­lic fig­ure to appease your cus­tomers and bring them warm and fuzzy recolec­tions of Michael Jor­dan dunk­ing a ball after an very improb­a­bly long jump. But Ben Stein? Really?! This anti-science cre­ation­ist loon? Well sure, if polar­iz­ing your cus­tomers with ran­dom unre­lated celebri­ties is how you like to set them up for cus­tomer support.

After a few min­utes of nav­i­gat­ing the hotline’s menus I finally find the one ded­i­cated to tech­ni­cal sup­port for an inter­net line (isn’t it your num­ber 1 sup­port issue? Why isn’t that the first thing the cus­tomer is offered?). I press what­ever but­ton I was asked to press to be put on hold until the next avail­able representative.

Except that, appar­ently, between the hun­dreds — I hope thou­sands — of cus­tomer sup­port peo­ple Com­cast has on its pay­roll there is sim­ply not a sin­gle one that will be able to answer my call right now. None? Really? Do you just mean the wait­ing time is so long, that the sys­tem was designed to become self-conscious after more than 20 min­utes of wait become necessary?

Of course I’ve seen this before, in France the very relaxed voice usu­ally tells you that this is due to the high vol­ume of calls and that a safe bet is to try again later on in the day, just in case the wait­ing line isn’t so embar­rass­ing any­more. What if the cus­tomer doesn’t want to call again? What if this is a work-related emer­gency from some­one who works at home on the inter­net and has a deadline?

In dis­be­lief, I try to call again, same answer. After a few fum­ing min­utes, I decide to go back to Comcast’s dreaded home page and look for inter­net chat sup­port. I’ve tried it a cou­ple of times on other ser­vices and one clear advan­tage is the lack of uplift­ing wait­ing music. And for transparency’s sake, here’s what hap­pened next. Let me be clear, you shouldn’t read this, as much as I shouldn’t have had to read it being slowly typed into my browser. But if you do read it, con­sider the time my “sup­port expe­ri­ence” took.

Live­As­sist Tran­script
[Print] Print [Copy] Copy [Email] Email [Close] Close
chat id : 3c8408a9-255d-48e5-83a5-3cba34fd5f59
Prob­lem : Slow con­nec­tion, con­stant dis­con­nec­tions on the com­cast modem. Not a router prob­lem, was test with 2 dif­fer­ent routers with same results

Olivier > Slow con­nec­tion, con­stant dis­con­nec­tions on the com­cast modem. Not a router prob­lem, was test with 2 dif­fer­ent routers with same results

Loren > Hello Olivier, Thank you for con­tact­ing Com­cast Live Chat Sup­port. My name is Loren. Please give me one moment to review your infor­ma­tion.

Loren > Please wait, while the prob­lem is esca­lated to another ana­lyst

Gre­gory > Hello Olivier, Thank you for con­tact­ing Com­cast Live Chat Sup­port. My name is Gre­gory. Please give me one moment to review your infor­ma­tion.

Olivier > Hello

Gre­gory > How’s it going today Olivier?

Olivier > Could be bet­ter

Olivier > I’d like to know if there are known net­work issues in my area or if my modem could be at cause

Olivier > Com­cast plan is under my landlord’s name, [redacted]

Olivier > Her phone is [redacted]

Gre­gory > Just one moment please.

Olivier > sure

Olivier > Hello?

Gre­gory > I can help you with that, can you hold for one moment while I process your infor­ma­tion?

Gre­gory > Try­ing to pull up your account infor­ma­tion.

Olivier > ok

Gre­gory > Let me run a health check on your modem for you.

Olivier > Ok

Olivier > just so you know, I’m con­nected to my neighbor’s wifi right now

Gre­gory > I see what the issue is Olivier.

Gre­gory > Let me get you directed to the cor­rect depart­ment.

Olivier > and the issue would be?

Gre­gory > Just one moment please.

Gre­gory > Please wait, while the prob­lem is esca­lated to another ana­lyst

Olivier > alright

Andres > I am more than glad to assist you today with your order. It will take me just a few min­utes to pull up your account in our ystem. I will let you know if I have any ques­tions.

Olivier > Andres, here’s hop­ing you’ll be more talk­a­tive than Gre­gory

Andres > How are you today Mr.Lacan?

Olivier > I could be bet­ter.

Olivier > How are you?

Andres > How are you today Mr.Lacan?

Andres > I am doing great! Thank you for ask­ing me! Sure I will assit you today Mr.Lacan.

Olivier > Ok

Olivier > Gre­gory appar­ently found what was the issue with my modem. At least that’s what I gather

Olivier > Could you please enlighten me?

Andres > So you are hav­ing prob­lems with your inter­net Mr.Lacan?

Olivier > yes

Olivier > dis­con­nec­tions, reg­u­larly. Slow speed, for a few days/weeks now.

Olivier > The web being my work, it’s crip­pling.

Andres > Mr.Lacan I apol­o­gize for the incon­ve­nient but my area is not trou­bleshoot­ing. I rec­om­mend you to call to 1–800-Comcast and they will put you with a tech­ni­cian and he will help you.

Olivier > I did

Olivier > And they redi­rected me to Comcast.net

Olivier > which is not a sup­port site.

Olivier > The phone num­ber is appar­ently over­loaded. So I sug­gest you maybe do what two of your col­leagues did before you: trans­fer me to some­one who can (hope­fully) chat and trou­bleshoot.

Andres > Ok Mr.Lacan I will trans­fer you to another agent. I apol­o­gize for the incon­ve­nient.

Olivier > Thank you

Andres > Have a nice day.

Andres > Please wait, while the prob­lem is esca­lated to another analyst

Michael > hello

Olivier > Michael! So glad to meet you.

Olivier > Do you do trou­bleshoot­ing?

Michael > Please wait, while the prob­lem is esca­lated to another analyst

June > ikThank you for vis­it­ing Comcast.com. What ques­tions can I answer for you?

Olivier > Hello, June.

Olivier > Can you trou­bleshoot?

Olivier > Or do I need to be intro­duced to my fifth ana­lyst?

June > I do apol­o­gize, Olivier.

Olivier > Thank you.

June > As what I read in the pre­vi­ous chat tran­script, your issue is regard­ing your modem.

June > Is that cor­rect?

Olivier > Yes.

June > Thank you for ver­i­fy­ing.

June > You have been routed to a Sales depart­ment.

Olivier > Ah.

June > Let me con­nect you to our tech­ni­cal depart­ment.

June > Will this be fine with you?

Olivier > That’d be great.

June > Thank you for under­stand­ing.

Olivier > All I can do.

June > Please wait, while the prob­lem is esca­lated to another analyst

Susana > I am pleased to assist you today, how are you?

Olivier > I’m doing some­what less good than 5 ana­lysts ago. But thank you, how are you?

Susana > I def­i­nitely under­stand how incon­ve­nient it must be in your part. Let me do every­thing to get this issue resolved for you within this chat smile

Susana > I am doing great.

Susana > Since when did this issue hap­pen, Olivier?

Olivier > I’d say a few days if not weeks.

Olivier > But it did hap­pen before.

Susana > Are the wirings secure and is every­thing plugged cor­rectly?

Olivier > Yes, eth­er­net cables have been checked.

Olivier > And I’ve used two dif­fer­ent routers to test the WiFi reception/Ethernet rout­ing

Olivier > The coax cable going to the modem is also secure.

Susana > I will now run a series of diag­nos­tics to check on the sta­tus of your con­nec­tion and devices from my end.

Olivier > Ok.

Olivier > Oops, clicked the wrong but­ton.

Olivier > Can you still see me?

Susana > Yes I can still see you

Olivier > Ok.

Susana > There indeed is a slight prob­lem detected with your con­nec­tion. How­ever, do not worry as this is noth­ing that I can­not fix remotely on my end. Can you please hold for a few min­utes while I per­form the nec­es­sary trou­bleshoot­ing steps from my end?

Olivier > Of course.

Susana > Thank you for your patience.

Susana > Done. Now let me run a final health check to val­i­date that the sig­nals have improved before we end the ses­sion.

Olivier > Great.

Olivier > Was it a firmware problen on the modem end?

Olivier > In case you didn’t see my mes­sage: Was it a firmware problen on the modem end?

Susana > Firmware prob­lems only occur with routers, Olivier.

Susana > The rea­son for this is just a sys­tem glitch from our end. How­ever it is now improved.

Olivier > Ok, great.

Susana > Great news, I just retrieved the results of the final health check and it is show­ing that the con­nec­tion has improved with a more sta­ble and higher speed. All sig­nals are in green, the sys­tem has been refreshed and prop­erly con­fig­ured.

Susana > Now all you need for the changes to fully take effect on your end is to pow­er­cy­cle your modem cor­rectly as out­lined on this link: http://lite.help.comcast.net/content/faq/guid/e1b0fbaa-ebee-4553-a55d-d529dab07e09#power

Olivier > Thank you for your help.

Susana > You’re wel­come. I can’t be more glad know­ing that your sat­is­fac­tion is guar­an­teed.

Susana > Is there any­thing else that I can resolve for you aside from this?

Olivier > Who should I con­tact if any­thing sim­i­lar hap­pens?

Susana > Since you are now online, you may want to watch videos for free as a com­cast sub­scriber at www.fancast.com.

Susana > Please con­tact your local office at 1800 266 2278 for a modem replace­ment if same issue occurs.

Susana > How­ever I doubt that.

Olivier > Ok,

Susana > It should be good to go

Olivier > Thanks again.

Susana > After this chat ses­sion, there may be a quick 3-question sur­vey that will pop up. It would really mean a lot to me if you con­sider this issue resolved. Are you okay with that?

Olivier > A sug­ges­tion

Olivier > Yes, the issue seems resolved so far :-)

Olivier > Quick sug­ges­tion, if it mat­ters. Who­ever cre­ated this chat sys­tem might want to have the lines wrap­ping inside the win­dow, so users don’t need to scroll hor­i­zon­tally every time the ana­lyst says some­thing to see it.

Susana > It is, I assure you

Susana > Thank you very much for the sug­ges­tion. I will make sure it is passed

Susana > smile

Olivier > Good.

Susana > Thank you very much Olivier, please click on the END SESSION but­ton to answer the sur­vey as the issue has been resolved smile

Olivier > Good night.

Olivier > Alright, thanks for being the most effi­cient per­son I met today.

Susana > Ana­lyst has closed chat and left the room

As you can see I jumped a line in the tran­script every time I was “esca­lated” to another “ana­lyst”. Five times, 5, Cinq, or rather five fuck­ing times where it wasn’t the ana­lysts but I who had to even­tu­ally fig­ure out if they were the com­pe­tent per­son to solve my prob­lem despite them already hav­ing read a tran­script of my prob­lem descrip­tion. Or maybe this is part of the prob­lem, maybe being “esca­lated” sim­ply means that what­ever ana­lyst came before sim­ply dumped me onto a new one with lit­tle to no infor­ma­tion about my issue. That would cer­tainly explain the few min­utes of niceties before they real­ized that — oh, wait — the couldn’t help me. But they sure all stuck to the script when it came to the niceties.

A lit­tle ques­tion for their man­agers. Would you rather some­one be cour­te­ous and waste 5 min­utes of your time in a slow inter­net chat back and forth and this for 5 con­sec­u­tive instances, or would you per­haps like to get on with the fuck­ing prob­lem already and assume I am not hav­ing a great day, or else why would any­one spend it talk­ing to cus­tomer support?

So, skip the “How are you?”, and don’t dare tell me “How can I help you?” after I described it at length with:
– your online sup­port chat form
– the first “ana­lyst“
– the sec­ond “ana­lyst“
– the third “ana­lyst“
– and the fourth “analyst”

Nice to meet your Mr. Smith, I am look­ing into the cause of the prob­lem you described to us and will come back to you shortly with more infor­ma­tion”.
Take it, it’s free. That’s all you need. That’s how you engage a cus­tomer by mak­ing him under­stand that what­ever action he first took to describe his prob­lem prop­erly in the hopes of mak­ing his support’s job eas­ier wasn’t com­pletly wasted. Addi­tion­ally it sets him up for the unavoid­able wait while a tech­ni­cian (not an ana­lyst, ana­lysts work at the CIA, or on Wall Street) runs a series of tests (phys­i­cal or log­i­cal) to nar­row down the cause of the prob­lem. Of the five peo­ple the peo­ple I talked to, only two (June and Susana) referred to my pre­vi­ous chats and seemed to at least have glanced over my pre­vi­ous descrip­tions of my problem.

By read­ing the end­ing of my dis­cus­sion with the very nice Susana, you would assume that my prob­lem was thor­oughly resolved, right?
Nope. After care­ful test­ing — which I couldn’t do or didn’t think to do after I was told that every­thing was “green” — I real­ized that my band­width was still nowhere close to the 6mpbs I could reach only two weeks prior. And my very strange down­load speed con­tin­ued.
It would go up to 300kb/s then sharply drop to 150, and finally oscil­late between 80kb/s and 110kb/s.

So I called again, this time I scored some­one on the phone. Lucky me!
I had a friend’s DOCSIS 2.0 Motorola modem with me to test and see if the prob­lem wasn’t related to the rental Com­cast modem. After a few long min­utes of tweek­ing, the Motorala modem was func­tion­ing prop­erly, with no a drop more band­width. The prob­lem was evi­dently net­work related.

Still the per­son I talked to on the phone insisted it might be due to the house’s wiring. So she asked me if I would like to have a tech­ni­cian come by and check the house. I was reluc­tant, since it was Fri­day, and it would surely mean some­time dur­ing the week, when I’m usu­ally very busy. But to my sur­prise, she offered Sun­day, between 4 and 7pm. I was amazed, you could never dig out a tech­ni­cian on a Sun­day in France. No they would rather work dur­ing the nor­mal week, when peo­ple are at work and can’t answer the door. Or bet­ter yet, have them take half a day off — so that it fits the Inter­net technician’s schedule.

The man was very nice, he checked the modem, saw my friend’s Motorola and told me it was much bet­ter than the default one and that a DOCSIS 3.0 wouldn’t make much of a dif­fer­ence now, but that the new faster speed was being rolled out soon enough. Less than a year he made it sound like. Then he checked the coax­ial lines inside the house and found some noise on the upstream. He seemed to have an eureka moment about this, but I could hardly see why a slight loss of upstream could be caus­ing a 80% loss of band­width. He went to the attic and fixed the upstream noise issue. Which made me very hope­ful. We tested the band­width: no change. He went out­side to the check the con­nec­tion with the node, and came back empty handed. He told me he would have a col­league come by the next day to check the net­work in the area.

This was the last I heard of Comcast.

Today I sub­scribed to AT&T’s U-verse. Not because it’s cheaper: it isn’t. On the con­trary AT&T is far too expen­sive. The equiv­a­lent of the com­plete U-verse bun­dle (Free­box) retails in France at $45 per month, with the high­est speed by default. I chose them sim­ply because their web­site is orga­nized, offers actual infor­ma­tion about the ser­vices pro­vided and most of all, because their band­width poli­cies aren’t reminscent of the late 1990’s.

Of course the com­par­i­son is unfair, I haven’t yet had any sup­port issues with AT&T, but that shouldn’t be Comcast’s prob­lem. What should be Comcast’s prob­lem, and what will be its down­fall in the fol­low­ing months, is that a com­peti­tor as expen­sive as AT&T could com­pare so favorably.

To the Com­cast exec­u­tive who will in the fol­low­ing month strug­gle to under­stand the mas­sive loss in cus­tomers they will likey suf­fer, I can only point to Jeff Jarvis’ excel­lent book “What Would Google Do”. The title is deceiv­ing, it’s not just about Google. In it lies the answer to why the likes of AOL and Yahoo faded away in favor of com­pa­nies who didn’t try to pro­vide con­tent — which is funny since Com­cast is appar­ently try­ing to acquire Dis­ney as an attempt not to be seen as a “dumb tube” — but instead good ser­vice to as many cus­tomers as pos­si­ble for the low­est mar­gin possible.

If that still doesn’t con­vince you, look up Free’s suc­cess story. The French ISP who started as a free alter­na­tive to France’s national oper­a­tor France Tele­com before lead­ing the way in the DSL rev­o­lu­tion and chang­ing the way tele­coms work in the coun­try. Which lead to France becom­ing one of the best and most com­pet­i­tive Inter­net mar­kets in the world, can­cel­ing a 10-year lag in national Inter­net usage.

Dear Human Beings, I like you.

Human BeingsToday I had four hours of sleep, for­got my laptop’s charger in class, had a car acci­dent and lost my house keys. Yet, I’m happy and I even have a smile on my face.

Why? Peo­ple.

I didn’t have a lot of sleep and came in class sleepy headed enough that I almost fell asleep dur­ing an inter­est­ing (for me) lec­ture on HTML forms. But after half a bot­tle of Moutain Dew and some micro nap­ping I finally woke up to the part where my instruc­tor was explain­ing the <field­set> and <opt­group> HTML tags. Most peo­ple wouldn’t care or even know what those even mean but put it sim­ply I always won­dered how peo­ple achieved a cer­tain look and feel in their online forms and thought it was through com­pli­cated styling. Nope, they just read and fol­lowed the rules, and then sim­ply embell­ished the result. That lit­tle knowl­edge made me happy, because I knew I could count on it later and that it would serve me well.

Later on dur­ing lunch I over­heard a voice that I rec­og­nized as the elo­quent George’s. George is a smart fel­low I met ran­domly while while dis­cussing Tarantino’s Inglou­ri­ous Bas­terds right after the movie with a group of friend. He was one of the friends of that group of friends. And we started talk­ing about stuff. If you’re a lit­tle bit like me you prob­a­bly rec­og­nize a cer­tain type of peo­ple that — while they might not agree with you on every sub­ject — apply the same crit­i­cal stan­dards to a lot of things they are inter­ested or pas­sion­ate about. For George, it was movies (in that case) and Video Games (if you like the topic, check out his inter­est­ing blog about games, ideas and stuff) and you could see right away that he too was a stone turner. A lit­tle metaphor that just came to my mind for peo­ple with lit­tle to no taboo top­ics, who like to talk about stuff when oth­ers just give up because things are the way they are. We just talked a lit­tle bit before going back to our respec­tive groups, and I almost for­got (because of what hap­pened later, oooh fore­shad­ow­ing!) that I told him I’d try to get peo­ple together to go see Where The Wild Things Are.

The rest of the class (lab) was unevent­ful enough, I made plans for the evening and got a call from a friend that prompted me to leave early to go back to East Orlando. But he gave me a raincheck so I even­tu­ally sat down and got some work done out­side before leav­ing in much less of a hurry.

I took Uni­ver­sity Boule­vard east­bound which is about the only direc­tion you can take from Full Sail and drove down while lis­ten­ing to This Week In Tech (rec­om­mended to any­one inter­ested in Web/Tech news). I remem­ber think­ing once again that this 9am to 5pm sched­ule really doesn’t suit me it fol­lows pre­cisely the heav­i­est traf­fic pos­si­ble in Orlando (a walk in the park com­pared to the light­est traf­fic in Paris, but still). Then I remem­bered that I needed gas, I had noticed my gauge was almost all the way down the night before but thought there was no rush. There was also a lot of traf­fic on the left turn­ing lane when I passed the Race Track gas sta­tion on Alafaya Trail, so I thought it would be for the best.

So instead of fol­low­ing the calmer, less dense mid­dle lane of Alafaya Tr south­bound, I took the left lane shortly after the Uni­ver­sity Bld, inter­sec­tion. The topic at hand on TWIT was a law­suit involv­ing YouTube (Google) and Via­com. I remem­ber that the dis­cus­sion started to be very inter­est­ing when the exis­tence of inter­nal emails prov­ing that YouTube knew about copy­right infringe­ment (and didn’t care) was discovered.

Then I saw a car slow down in front of me, I slowed down. But the car slowed down more sharply still. And I had to slam on the breaks pretty hard. It some­times hap­pens in such a traf­fic, espe­cially when many peo­ple turn at the same spot. I checked my rearview mir­ror. The guy behind me was close, but man­aged to stop in time too. A lit­tle closer to me than I was to the car in front of me (about 2 or 3 meters). Then I heard a screech­ing tire sound. A slight rain had just started, so I thought it might be my own tires going to a full stop some­how. I know auto­matic cars do that some­times. And even though it’s usu­ally when start­ing the car or turn­ing, the thought made sense to me at that instant.

One instant later, I real­ized that it didn’t quite made sense after all. And I was pushed forward.

I saw the rear bumper of the car in front of me get closer and bounce. I think I said some­thing like “Oh, come on!”.  I had my foot firmly on the brakes, but I think I remem­ber the pedal react­ing a lit­tle bit before the car stopped mov­ing again. I check my mir­ror to see if any cars were plan­ning on join­ing the party. It seemed safe enough. I got out, and saw that the man in front of me had already gone out of his car. He looked fine, I was relieved and then turned around to check on the guy behind me. He wasn’t straight behind me, but at an angle. And that angle caused dam­age. The hood of his car (a Lexus) had sunk below the rear bumper of mine (a higher set Nis­san Rogue). The guy seemed a lit­tle buzzed so I asked him on a grave tone of voice if he was OK. He read the grav­ity and gave me a firm pos­i­tive answer. Then I saw the last car. The shock had been straight on for that one. The front of the hood was bent at an almost 45 degree angle. But not high enough that I couldn’t make out the dri­ver. It was a young woman. Again I wanted to make sure she was OK and started walk­ing in her direc­tion.  Then I saw that she was sob­bing. I won­dered for half a sec­ond (yes, I counted) but quickly real­ized it was sim­ply emo­tional dis­tress. She either real­ized she was in trou­ble or she sim­ply got really, really scared. From the screech­ing rub­ber, she must have been dri­ving a lit­tle faster than all of us, and the shock must have been that much scarier.

I won’t put too much detail into what hap­pened next (because it’s late, and I have another long day tomor­row),  but let me sim­ply say that it proves my point. The three peo­ple in the front of the acci­dent (includ­ing me) quickly started talk­ing and defus­ing the sit­u­a­tion together. One of them was a lit­tle tense because he didn’t have his license on him (he also suf­fered the most vis­i­ble dam­age on his car). And most of all, every­one was relieved that no one was hurt. I talked with the man that was in front of me (who’s car was luck­ily still in work­ing con­di­tion) for prob­a­bly more than an hour, called a few friends to explain the sit­u­a­tion and let them know every­thing was OK and ask for some advice for the insur­ance and gen­eral pro­ce­dures since it was after all my first car acci­dent ever. Not includ­ing a minor bump, inter­est­ingly also in Florida, in Cocoa Beach. A woman who was con­cen­trat­ing very hardly on her lap thought she felt the light turn green and decided to bumb the back of my car, but not a scratch — doesn’t count. We all waited a bit, none of us exactly sure what to do first. Even­tu­ally some­one called his insur­ance, I called 911 to report the acci­dent, have a dis­patch sent in and explain the basic sit­u­a­tion. The patrol car that came over took a lit­tle while but she was sim­ply here to pro­tect us from traf­fic and see if every­one was indeeed OK.

She was very nice and gave us as much infor­ma­tion as she could and asked for a Florida High­way Patrol car to be sent with an offi­cer who could prop­erly block traf­fic, write an inci­dent report, take depo­si­tions and have the undriv­able cars towed away (mine, the one behind me and the young woman who remained in tears for what seemed like 30 min­utes while call­ing her fam­ily or friends I assume. She then even­tu­ally came to see us to intro­duce her­self. She was shak­ing and it reminded me that for the first 5 to 10 min­utes, even though I wasn’t scared at all, my legs were also shak­ing. Sim­ple chem­i­cal reac­tion to a dan­ger­ous sit­u­a­tion I sup­pose. She shook our hands I think and hav­ing jot­ted down the two other dri­vers’ info on my iPhone, I asked her if I could have her num­ber. She gave was obvi­ously very sorry and gave it to me, then tried to spell her name and ended up sim­ply hand­ing me her driver’s license.

I felt bad for her at that point. It would have been rude to point it out to her, but the two other dri­vers’ ver­sion of the events con­verged with mine in the con­clu­sion that she was clearly the phys­i­cal cause of the acci­dent. Morally, it’s hard to blame her, because in her sit­u­a­tion, I have no idea whether I could have stopped in time or not. But still, the offi­cer cited her for Care­less Dri­ving. What it means for the rest of us is that all of our insur­ances will ask to be com­pen­sated be her insur­ance, which should take care of it. But it prob­a­bly means much higher insur­ance fees for her, and doesn’t exclude a raise in ours as well. I sort of under­stand the eco­nomic rea­son for this, but I don’t see the sense in  an insur­ance com­pany that receives reg­u­lar pay­ments, sees the insured are not in the wrong (i.e. were vic­tims) but still raises the prices (as I was told, I have no knowl­edge on the sub­ject). As a con­sumer, I would never agree to such a pol­icy, but it prob­a­bly implies lower recur­ring fees upfront, which would explain why most peo­ple choose such poli­cies (they see the short term gain, as human beings are evo­lu­tion­ar­ily advan­taged to).

The rest of the night included wait­ing about an hour more for the offi­cer to com­plete his report and the tow trucks to arrive (almost in per­fect syn­chronic­ity). Then I walked to a gas sta­tion to get a refresh­ing Sweet Tea, glad to be OK and that every­one else also was, and hop­ing (from what tran­spired) that the owner of my car (that I rent) wouldn’t have to suf­fer the cost of this acci­dent too much. I was picked up from the gas sta­tion and real­ized when I arrived home that I had of course given my car keys to the tow truck man. And for many (usu­ally) good rea­sons I always keep my car keys attached to my house keys. I even­tu­ally had to do one more stop before one of my roo­mates could pick me up. And after some trial-and-error, I man­aged to reach some­one at the insur­ance com­pany. Quite sim­ply the nicest tele­phone rep I’ve ever talked with. I under­stand it’s her job to pro­vide a good cus­tomer expe­ri­ence, espe­cially in these sit­u­a­tions, but she played a large role into how good this day even­tu­ally turned back to. There is still mate­r­ial uncer­tainty ahead and com­pli­ca­tions — biggest of which is the lack of car for a while, but I was told I was prob­a­bly enti­tled to a loaner car paid by the per­son respon­si­ble for the crash — but what I get out of it is that this day fin­ished on a higher note than it started on.

And really, what else can you ask for?

PS: I feel I haven’t dri­ven my point to the ground yet. I like peo­ple for what they are, what they think, how they think (be it good or bad), what they look like, what they feel, what they make me feel. I like them for who they are, not for what I wished them to be. I like them because they’re com­plex and so extremely sim­ple to under­stand. I like them because they’re all like me, in a very dif­fer­ent way.

Furiously Fascinating Financial Fiasco

financial_fiasco_norbergIf you’re an old eco­nom­ics major like me or have a gen­eral inter­est in how stuff works you prob­a­bly have a gen­eral under­stand­ing of how a Mar­ket with a big “M” func­tions. That doesn’t mean you under­stood a sin­gle thing about the Sub­prime col­lapse or why print­ing money is bad, why peo­ple some­times choose to default on their mort­gage or why banks took such amaz­ing risks.

All those tedious lit­tle ques­tions most peo­ple toss aside when they decide to rant with one another about those evil Wall Street peo­ple and those silly home­own­ers who didn’t think twice about buy­ing a house they couldn’t pos­si­bly afford.

If you only read one book about this whole ordeal, it should be Johan Norberg’s. Let me warn you from the start, Nor­berg is — like me — a lib­er­tar­ian. One of those insane peo­ple who like to step back from the rhetoric and actu­ally look at the impact that both the Left and the Right had on the things they so nobly tried to “Change” with “Hope” or “God”.

Despite his clear point of view on the mat­ter, Nor­berg spends half of his book with­out even both­er­ing to give his opin­ion. A rare fact, that when telling a story so enrag­ing as this one, feels like a breath of fresh air. The main time­frame of the book from the 1980’s to 2008, with­out any clear lin­ear sto­ry­telling. We jump back and forth fol­low­ing the cause and the effect of one inane under­thought pol­icy after another. It’s frus­trat­ing, it’s annoy­ing, it’s exactly what we usu­ally don’t see about polit­i­cal inter­ven­tion­ism: the results.

You can find it on Ama­zon for around $15.